all that gibberish that you were spittin'... you need to kill it

In keeping with the theme of transit woes, I’d like to tell you a little story about Miss Batshit on the M8 bus last night.

First off… I find it absolutely fucking hilarious that there’s a bus that provides door to door (nearly) service between The Dugout and Big Lug. Someone needs to market this… c’mon.. there's gotta be more than one bear working at the MTA?!?!

Okay.. so me, Damian and my friend Matt decided to try out the bus instead of taking a cab over to Lug for a nightcap last night. We got on the empty M8 at 10th and Washington and took seats in the back. Somewhere near Seventh Ave. South a few people got on. We were having a conversation about Boston and Providence and different cities we have lived in. There was no swearing or any tawdry topics on the table… we weren’t shouting or even being that loud at all.

Enter Miss Batshit.

So.. Miss Batshit in the front of the bus stands up and starts flailing her arms to get our attention.

“Excuse me! Can we keep it down in the back?!”

D, M and I traded WTF looks.

“You’re conversation is disturbing me. Can we have a little peace and quiet?!?!”

So… Damian and I didn’t miss our cue. We fired off a few choice insults back at her and got her to sit down and glare at us instead of yell at us. I also noticed that the whole situation was making the bus driver grin ear-to-ear from his reflection in the rearview mirror.

One of the other homos gave us a wink and a smile when he got off the bus at 1st Ave. and dropped a little fey “Keep it down!” at us.

When we were discussing the incident we decided that what was really getting on Miss Batshit’s nerves was the homo-register of our voices. There is no other explanation. She looked at us like she wanted us dead.

What is a lady who hates homos doing on a bus from Christopher Street to Avenue gAy, anyhow?!?


Anonymous Foxy said...

You and Dirty D get gay bashed a lot.

11:53 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

It's because we rock the legendary queerness.. non-stop, yo.

This was much more tame than The Great Cab Incident of '06. Then again.. I think that one had to do with the proximity to 14th and 1st where Ms. Aviance was attacked... and the beer and whiskey at Big Lug BBQ III.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

First off, who knew? Your own almost private bus, door to door! Good to know.

Secondly, I always find that a well aimed (and modulated) "shut the fuck up" works wonders in these situations.

2:05 PM  
Anonymous George said...

Two beers on Sunday at the Dugout.
$8 w/tip.

Getting Gay-bashed on a NYC Transit bus.

3:06 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

I can't say it was "bashing".. she didn't say any faggy terms or anything.. but the vibe was there. She really just gave off the thick sweet scent of CRAZY.

3:15 PM  

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