give head, stop breathe, get up, check your weave

After a good deal of annoying research I finally found the perfect gym. I dealt with pushy gym sales guys/douchebags at NYSC, Bally's and a retarded new gym in Hell's Kitchen. I toyed with the idea of joining a city gym or the Y, neither of which were convenient to work or home.

This afternoon I'm going to join Richie's Gym in Bushwick. It's fucking perfect. It's huge and relatively new. The clientele seems to be an interesting mix of meat-head black and latin local guys peppered with fay Asian kids and hipster chicks who inhabit nearby lofts.

The best part is that it's cheap as shit.. $35 a month with no contract.. or $99 for 6 months. Ummm.. fuck you NYSC and your $90 a month to wait for an elliptical behind some retarded Becky from Hicksville! Who knows... I might even be able to get a dick in me at this place!?!

This is how I plan to roll at Richie's:

And.. I can't end this post without including a few inspirational quotes:

Hi may name is Jill, I just want to say thanks to Kanye's workout plan, I was able to pull a NBA player and like now I shop every day on Rodeo Drive I just want to say, thank you Kanye! woooo! woooo! woooo! woooo! woooo! woooo!

My name is lassandra, and I just want to say since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape I was able to get my phone bill paid, I got sounds and 13's put on my cavalier and I was able to get a free trip to Cancun and what's most importantly is that I ain't gotta fuck wit Ray J's broke ass no mo'.

My name is Ella-May from Mobile, Alabama and I just want to say since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape I been able to date outside the family, I got a double wide and I rode a plane, rode a plane, rode a plane, rode a plane, rode a plane.

Thanks to Kanye's workout plan I'm the envy of all my friends See I pulled me a balla man (yeah) and I don't gotta work at the mall again.


Blogger Scott said...

how DARE you come for Hicksville!!!

4:19 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

It was easier than googling the spelling of Ronkonkoma... but I guess I had to do it in the end anyhow!

4:23 PM  
Anonymous Foxy said...

Loves it. Loves the bag, loves the shoes, love everything. Loves it!

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Bloghungry said...

I love that clip. It is one of my favorite Saved by the Bell moments and I would like to thank you for bringing it back into my life. If your workouts are anything like that I would gladly be your gym partner. I'm pretty good with trampoline choreography and hair flips.

10:15 PM  
Blogger Homer said...

That hair made me dizzy.

12:07 PM  
Blogger Christopher Sauve said...

Hey! IS Richies near Meserole Street? I wanna go! I hate NYSC!

1:34 AM  

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