Exercises in Homosexuality: 2007 Christmas Tree Edition

I'm reasonably sure that I have one of the gayest christmas trees ever.

I'm sort of proud of him. But he's very very homosexual.

10 reasons I know my christmas tree is gay

10. He's infatuated with balls.

9. The first thing he said to me when I took him out of the box this year was.. "do I look fat?"

8. I found one of his ads on craigslist.

7. He's legally married to a topiary bear at Dollywood.

6. That skirt!

5. He started talking dirty when I put on the tree topper.

4. He got vaccinated for hep b.

3. He smells like poppers and lube.

2. I have to turn the TV so he can watch Project Runway with me.

1. "No... tinsel... What's tinsel doing on me when I told you.. no TINSEL.. NO TINSEL EVER!!!!!!!!!"

I LOVE MY BIG GAY CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!!!