got me love dancin'

c'mon boys... wake up

I was just reminded of a song that I loved when I was a kid... it's the gayest shit ever and I guess I didn't realize it then.. it's sort of like when I saw "Meet Me in St. Louis" for the first time and was all "This is the best movie ever!" to my mom... my poor poor mother of a gay son... and... who was the gay music programmer at 98PXY who played this shit in the first place?!?

Anyhow... thanks to one of the hottest blogs out there (NSFW!) for reminding me of this Nick Kamen track.



Anyone have an MP3 of this? Mission accomplished! Thanks, you! I totally wanna play it at Big Lug.

officially the biggest midget in the game

Despite my belief that it's way better to receive than give... ahem... and I'm not talking presents or poundcake...

please! please! please! toss a few ducats over to Mr. Mike Jones...

Visit Joe's blog for details or click here to go directly to PayPal where you can make a payment to Mike via his account:

massageandmuscle@aol.com.

hey, Gay Robot's havin' a good time!

Jokes made by robots for robots.

A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.

Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, "Why did you do that?" She replies, "I wanted to see time fly!" The robot says, "Ah ... A perfect subject for elimination," and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.

HT: Boing Boing

give head, stop breathe, get up, check your weave

After a good deal of annoying research I finally found the perfect gym. I dealt with pushy gym sales guys/douchebags at NYSC, Bally's and a retarded new gym in Hell's Kitchen. I toyed with the idea of joining a city gym or the Y, neither of which were convenient to work or home.

This afternoon I'm going to join Richie's Gym in Bushwick. It's fucking perfect. It's huge and relatively new. The clientele seems to be an interesting mix of meat-head black and latin local guys peppered with fay Asian kids and hipster chicks who inhabit nearby lofts.

The best part is that it's cheap as shit.. $35 a month with no contract.. or $99 for 6 months. Ummm.. fuck you NYSC and your $90 a month to wait for an elliptical behind some retarded Becky from Hicksville! Who knows... I might even be able to get a dick in me at this place!?!

This is how I plan to roll at Richie's:


And.. I can't end this post without including a few inspirational quotes:

Hi may name is Jill, I just want to say thanks to Kanye's workout plan, I was able to pull a NBA player and like now I shop every day on Rodeo Drive I just want to say, thank you Kanye! woooo! woooo! woooo! woooo! woooo! woooo!

My name is lassandra, and I just want to say since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape I was able to get my phone bill paid, I got sounds and 13's put on my cavalier and I was able to get a free trip to Cancun and what's most importantly is that I ain't gotta fuck wit Ray J's broke ass no mo'.

My name is Ella-May from Mobile, Alabama and I just want to say since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape I been able to date outside the family, I got a double wide and I rode a plane, rode a plane, rode a plane, rode a plane, rode a plane.

Thanks to Kanye's workout plan I'm the envy of all my friends See I pulled me a balla man (yeah) and I don't gotta work at the mall again.

brady bears

Is there such a thing as too many bear/brady bunch references??

creative uses for Duck brand tape.

I recently had to visit Henkel's DUCK Products page for some retarded reason. I was so happy to stumble upon their creative uses section.. here are some highlights:


"I taped a calf's broken leg together with Duck(r) Tape."
Jason S. Spring Green, WI

"I use Duck(r) Tape to tape the teats on my dairy cows. It keeps the teats from getting bruised, which in turn means better milk production."
Pat H. Wisconsin Rapids, WI
Hmmm... I wonder if that could translate to humans..

"We use Duck(r) Tape on our cows. Blue to tell us she isn't milking; red for cows with medicine."
Virginia K. Whitelaw, WI
I want a cow with medicine.

"At the zoo, where I work, we used Duck(r) Tape to keep the pouch of a kangaroo shut. An underdeveloped joey was ejected too early and needed to be kept in the pouch for more development. The tape held the pouch shut for several weeks until the pouch opening shrank to hold the little guy in on its own."
Brad B. Wichita, KS

"My six-year-old son uses Duck(r) Tape to keep his sisters out of his room. He Duck(r) Tapes everything across his room, so it looks like laser beams going everywhere. The tape goes from his door knob, to the toy chest, to the bed post and so on. Then he crawls underneath the Duck(r) Tape beams to a safe corner and makes Duck(r) Tape balls to throw at them."
Barbara C. Gibson, NY
Buy your kid a fucking toy, Babs.

"My son wet the bed, but kept pulling the rubber sheet off because he was too hot. I Duck(r) Taped the sheet from side to side to the mattress. It worked!"
Janyse C. Port Angeles, WA
So.. you have less laundry to do, but your kid is sweltering all night?!

"My son wraps Duck(r) Tape around the waist of his football pants to keep them up. The pants belong to the team so they can't be altered permanently."
Anne M.
This makes me sort of hard...

"I was on an out-of-town business trip when I bent down and split the seat of my pants. I only had a few minutes before a meeting, so I made a quick trip to the store, bought a roll of Duck(r) Tape and did a repair job on my pants in the men's room. A small piece on the inside of my pants did the job. In no time I was on my way and back in business.I now keep a roll in my suitcase for any future emergency."
Richard L. Canton, OH
I bet it felt good too! Ummm.. and why don't you just pack an extra fucking pair of pants instead of the tape?!

"We were up in Bayfield for a wedding. I discovered that I accidentally purchased nylons rather than pantyhose. I had no garter belt to hold up the nylons. My husband had Duck(r) Tape in the car, so I taped the hosiery to my thighs. It stayed up all night!"
Elaine H. Oconomowoc, WI
Yeah... I heard that's how they do that shit up in Bayfield.

"I use Duck(r) Tape to decorate and it worked great! I just finished my kitchen and I used the tape to do the trim on my cupboards. It's so much easier to use than paint because you don't have to worry about spills, straight lines or colors bleeding together."
Debra F. Dafter, MI
Yeah, but you have fucking dick tape all over your kitchen.. you're kidding yourself.

"We wrap our Christmas gifts with Duck(r) Tape."
Tara W. Port Angeles, WA
I think I saw that on an episode of Good Times.

"The river was rising quickly and the water was lapping at the patio doors. Flood water began seeping in on the new carpet. Duck(r) Tape applied around the door edges stopped the leak. Seven inches of water outside but none inside!"
Dennis G. West Plains, MO
I bet Bush wished he had this tip last Summer!

"Duck(r) Tape your fiancée to altar on your wedding day. That way there's absolutely no way you could be left alone at the altar."
Melanie C. Larobe, LA
Maybe if you didn't spend all your time trolling the DUCK tape website you wouldn't have to worry about your fiancee leaving you at the altar.

"To stop husband's snoring."
Betty K. Traskwood, AR

"I wanted to ask someone to a girl's preference dance. I made a Duck(r) Tape cat and accompanied it with a note that said, "At first I was chicken. Then I got the guts! (Incise cat for guts.)" Inside the cat was an invitation. He said yes. Now we're engaged.
Sarah H. Colorado Springs, CO
Sarah H. .... Dahmer.

"I use Duck(r) Tape as wrist supports."
Laura C. Larasi, LA
Fag.

"During Desert Storm, the helicopter blades were being worn down by the sand. A very smart technician put Duck(r) Tape on the edge of the blade that suffered the most wear and when it wore off, they replaced the tape. Saving the government the replacement cost of chopper blades."
Steven C. Springfield, MO
God bless 'merica.

nothing like this

Some of the Chrome Children videos are finally available via youtube!

what a big black mask, what a hunk of love

What better way to spend a Saturday afternoon than walking through the
Brooklyn Museum with good friends?

The most AMAZING exhibit opened this weekend. You MUST go see the Ron Mueck show. It's there until February.

Mueck's work is stunning. His pieces have such incredible detail that you almost expect them to move. Every hair and blemish is placed perfectly. The expressions and poses are spot-on. Each piece conveys an emotion in a haunting way. The scale of the pieces magnify the experience. A tiny dead man laying on a slab or a gigantic women looking despondent in bed. I really can't say enough good stuff about the show. RUN TO THE BROOKLYN MUSEUM!

We also walked through the Annie Leibovitz show. It was interesting, but very crowded. I was taken with her portrait of Matthew Barney.. I'd risk the wrath of Bjork for a roll in the sack with him.. even if he was wearing a devil-face prosthetic.


NOTE: Photography wasn't allowed for the Mueck show. I snuck the shot of the newborn baby, but the rest of the pics I harvested online.


UPDATE: Click here for photos from Flickr of the installation of the pieces.

pictures of things as they used to be

I just came across this really cool project over at BLDGBLOG.

Tomorrow when you're voting, photo-document the event and upload your images to the AIGA Polling Place Photo Project site. I'm all over this. I bet I'll be the only one to upload a pic of my polling place in Bushwick.

CMJ - BLOWOFF & MSTRKRFT

Last night some members of Bear Posse took an outing to hear BLOWOFF and MSTRKRFT spin at Fat Baby for a CMJ party. (Yes, honey, you are a card carrying member of Bear Posse, like it or not.)

What a friggin' blast!

Thanks, Bob!

if it takes away the pain.. it's alright.

"Find a New Way" by Young Love

This song and video make me want to run into the executive bathroom, strip naked and dance until I'm a drippy and sweaty mess.

HT: BIGSTEREO

when the day that lies ahead of me seems impossible to face...

I was in a funky mood earlier today. Work blues, slight hangover, not enough sleep, and a smidge of general malaise.

But...

Now I'm flyin' high. All it took was a quick search on YouTube where I came across this AMAZING clip:



Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell lookin' cute and singin' Ain't No Mountain High Enough... at Expo67!

I wish that Tammi would sing and roll her eyes at me inside a space-phonebooth.

I was walking with a ghost

More pics of Halloween @ Big Lug here.